


Don't Feed Bullets to a Big Bad Wolf

by Biskette (orphan_account)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: F/F, Fake AH Crew, Female Jack, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-13 01:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5689324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Biskette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray is a poor pickpocket, and accidentally pickpockets someone that he probably shouldn't have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Ray had a habit of looking over his shoulder. For some odd reason it made him feel a bit more secure, even though his situation was far from it. Living in a shitty ass apartment and pick-pocketing tourists to pay rent, didn’t exactly make for the most financially stable situation. Luckily, the city was small once you live there for long enough. Ray knew all the places to stay away from if you didn’t want to get caught in a shoot-out or a drug deal. Ray walked down a crowded street, setting his sights on a woman. She had red hair that was cut short, she wore a Hawaiian shirt tucked into a pair of high-waisted shorts, what Ray was really looking at was the purse that hung from her shoulder. Based off of how well-kept the woman looked, she probably had a wad of cash in that purse. He made his way towards her, unsheathing a pocket knife from his jacket pocket, once he got close enough, he cut the strap of the purse, sliding it off of the woman’s shoulder before turning off into an alley way to look at the contents and ditch the purse. It was always a bit of a rush after he’d stolen something, even if it was exerting any real energy it made his heart beat faster, and all in all it made him feel more alive. It was leagues better than doing what he was supposed to do. He ducked behind a foul smelling garbage can before opening the purse and looking inside. “A gun? She had a fucking gun? Are you kidding me?” He was mumbling to himself, the previous feeling of euphoria was replaced by fear. Taking the gun out and putting it in the waistband of his faded jeans. Rummaging through the rest of the purse, finding what he had expected: A fancy looking wallet, along with a wad of cash. “Jackpot.” Ray mumbled once again, shoving the money into his back pocket. He dumped the purse in the garbage bin before walking back to his apartment, looking over his shoulder continuously to ensure that someone wasn’t following him back to his humble adobe. 

As the day was winding down, the sun setting in the distance, and the numerous lights of the city flickering on, making it almost look like it was still daytime out. Ray settled down onto his musty couch and turned on the TV. His living room consisted of the couch her currently sat on, His grainy and shitty sounding television, and a worn out coffee table. The paint that covered the paneling was peeling away in curls. It was really just a shitty apartment. But hey, it was what he could afford. After who knows how long of watching crappy comedies on cable, the screen flashed blue with the bold letters of ‘BREAKING NEWS’ running across the screen. The screen changed and the face of an all too serious looking news anchor, speaking in a theatrical voice. “Young man found dead in alley way, with a threatening message engraved on his chest. ‘Hope you enjoy the money.’ We have no idea what this message entails, or who it was meant for, but officers city-wide are searching for answers.” The breaking new cut off and it was back to the shitty comedy, the he had been watching a minute ago. “That was meant for me, fuck. I am so fucked. Oh god, was that lady a crime boss or something, Jesus what have I gotten myself into? Fuck. Am I going to have to go into hiding? Am I even able to into hiding?” Ray rambled, anxiety was bubbling up in his chest his thoughts swirled with all the possibilities of what might happen to him. Did he really just anger a crime boss by pickpocketing her?  
Ray woke up with the sun glaring in his eyes. “Ow,” He groaned rolling his head and squinting in attempt to make the room clear. He stared at grey walls. All four of them the color of cement. His neck and shoulders ached. He moved to roll his shoulders, only to realize his hands were tied behind him, this realization made his eyes shoot open and fully take in what was around the room, only to find himself squinting again due to the lack of glasses. ‘Did I really manage to sleep deep enough that I could be fucking kidnapped? Are you kidding me right now?’ He thought to himself, he may have looked like he was completely calm, but honestly he was freaking out and preparing to be murdered. 

From the other side of the room a door opened to reveal two young men walking into the basement-like room. One had curly red hair, brown eyes and a sour expression, like he was pissed at like everything, he wore a brown leather jacket, which looked like it had been through hell. Ray assumed this was the one that had been knocking. The other one was taller than the first, he had sandy brown hair, and a pair of what seemed like expensive sunglasses, and a goofy grin on his face. The first one spoke up. “What’s up asshole? You really should get a better lock on your door. It was way too easy to break in and take you from your house. Like damn dude.” He smiled a bit, making his face look tons more friendly. 

“You’re Ray right? Nice to meet you.” The other one stuck out his hand, before he realized what he was doing and pulled the hand away from Ray. 

“Yeah, uh who are you guys? Why did you take me from my apartment? And why am I tied up?

“Well I’m Michael and the mingy little prick is Gavin-“

“Micool! Don’t be mean!” Gavin pouted, crossing his arms. 

“As I was saying, you stole from Mama Jack so Geoff wants to talk to you and set you straight I guess? You’re tied up so that you can’t hurt anyone, in case you’re about that life.” Michael shrugged, looking slightly disinterested with the subject, like this was a regular occurrence. “We’ll go tell Geoff that you’re awake, so he can get this over with we have a heist to do in like 3 hours, and set up isn’t even done yet.”


	2. An Offer You Can't Refuse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray is confused as shit about whatever is happening. Who would expect a job offer after stealing a fucking wallet and gun?

Ray was confused. Who the fuck get kidnapped just to be talked to? Oh right him, because he had to fucking pickpocket someone that was involved in the biggest crew in the city. God, this was ridiculous. Michael and Gavin lead him through the pent house, into a small plain looking room. It was painted white and had a white board with what looked like elaborate plans on it. Even sticky notes were stuck to the board, all written in the same crude hand-writing, saying everything from ‘guns’ to ‘sucks dicks get money’

The sound of a throat being cleared snapped Ray’s attention back to what was happening.

“Take a seat, Geoff will be here in a few.” Michael said smiling down at his phone, must have been a message from his girlfriend or something. He did as he was told and took a seat, the other two followed and took seats near him. Michael putting his feet up unto the table and Gavin playing what seemed to be a mainstream game on his phone.

Ray’s head lulled back, his eyes slipping shut. He hadn’t realized how tired he was until the adrenalin of being kidnapped had worn off, sitting down was just about as good as laying down at this point.

A door slamming shut made Ray jump out of his brief nap. Michael didn’t even flinch when a man in a black suit came into the room. This had to be the boss. He even had that cool handlebar mustache. The thing that caught Ray’s attention the most, however, would have to be his piercing yet droopy and tired looking eyes. The boss swatted at Michaels legs that were still up on the table. “C’mon I thought we were civilized here?” The other pulled a face but put his legs down smiling.

“Michael? Civilized? Geoff he had a shouting match with me on the way to get Ray.”

“Yeah but I bet he won, so that doesn’t count.”

Ray looked at them perplexed. These were criminals? They were talking more like work buddies than accomplices. “So uh, what exactly is happening? Like am I gonna be murdered, or get a stern talking to a slap on the wrist? Make me give back the gun?” Ray asked hoping to move the conversation along.

“None of those actually. I’m offering you a job.”

“What?” All three of the Lads said at once.

“Ray here was able to pickpocket one of the most dangerous people in the city, nearly without getting caught. He could be useful. Tell me, can you shoot?”

“Uh, well I play video games?”

“We can probably get Jack to teach him.” Michael chimed in.

“That’s true. Well Ray, the offer is on the table. Work with us as whatever you specialize in, get a secure job, a secure living situation, and all the video games and junk food you could want.”

“And if I refuse?”

“You go back to your shitty apartment and are kept under watch to make sure you don’t end up slipping information to the wrong people.” Geoff leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands.

“Welp that makes the decision easy. I’m in.”

“Fantastic. Michael take him back to his apartment and let him know the address.” The second part he whispered. “Make sure his rent is paid for, for the next few months at least.”

“Got it.” He smiled, motioning for Ray to follow him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the short chapter, didn't know what else to but in it and the ending seemed appropriate. I'm really enjoying writing this! Hopefully you guys are enjoying reading it! Don't forget to leave a kudos or a comment! See you guys next update!


	3. Little Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray goes to his first heist so that Geoff can figure out where to put him in bigger jobs.

 

 

Ray's been with these assholes for a week now. They were all gathered into the planning room, sitting in their chairs and waiting for Geoff to start talking. Unfortunately this made everyone talk over him, needless to say Geoff looked done. Geoff put his hands over his faces and sighed, now waiting for the others to shut up so they could plan. It was Michael that spoke up first.

"Hey fuckers! The Boss is trying to talk." At his loud voice everyone turned their attention back to where it was supposed to be.

"Thank you. Now we gotta get some shit done. As you guys know Ray took the job. However we have no fucking idea what he specializes in, except stealing. So I've come up with a solution, We're gonna rob the Convenience Store on Innocence. There's a building across from it," He marked the building on the large map that had been placed on the whiteboard. "Ray, this is where you will be. You'll be sniping to see if you can do it. Jack and I are going to be get away cars and Gavin and Michael, you guys are the ones that are gonna get the cash. We should walk away with about a hundred each. Now with set up. Once we get there Ray you go across the street with your sniper and get up onto the roof so you can shoot anyone how looks like they're gonna cause us trouble. Jack, you and I are going to be in an SUV. Black windows, bullet proof tires, anything we need for this. Michael and Gavin you guys run in, making sure to kill the cashier, and after you get the money you get your asses out of there and into the back of the SUV. Ray there will be a motor bike for you behind your building, we meet at a bar and split the money. Got it?"

There was a resounding "Yeah" That went through the room. Michael smiling wickedly and looking pumped for the heist already.

It was an easy set up so everything was up and going within about 30 minutes if not less. Ray was laying on his stomach looking through the lens of the sniper rifle, watching as people milled around the street. He saw Michael and Gavin walk into the store looking as inconspicuous as they could manage. Someone turned and looked like he had seen what was happening inside the store, Ray steadied his breath, took aim and fired. His eyes widened when he saw that the man actually went down. "Hell yeah." He mumbled under his breath, he really hadn't expected to be good at shooting, but hey, surprises happen every day.

"Fucking Hell Ray! Sweet shot!" Geoff yelled into his earpiece. "Yeah, we're definitely keeping you around."

“Thanks, I like being alive and doing cool shit.” Ray deadpanned into the ear piece. He focused and hit another that looked like he was going to call the police. “Michael, Gavin? Are you guys almost done? I can hear sirens.” He said gnawing on his bottom lip.  
“Yeah, we’re on our way out now. Get ready Geoffrey.” Michael chuckled madly as he and Gavin rushed out of the store, making straight for the car. They made into the back and were laughing into the ear pieces. That’s what seemed to happen whenever those two were pumped with adrenaline.  
“Ray, go around back to the motorbike we set up for you. Ride away from the cops for as long as you need to before you head to the bar.”  
“Got it.” He said climbing down the ladder that lead to the alleyway behind the building that Ray was just on. As promised there was a motorbike propped up against one of the walls. Ray swung his leg over it and started the engine. Smiling at the way it revved. He sped out of the alley way and away from the approaching police cars. A droplet of rain hit Ray’s glasses as he sped down a backroad, the police didn’t seem to be in pursuit, but he could still hear the sirens. Within minutes it was pouring rain and steering was starting to get difficult and Ray’s vision was getting blurry due to his glasses.  
“Shit.” Ray mumbled trying to focus on the road enough to not crash. A running mantra of ‘shit’ went through his head as the motorbike veered off the road and tossed him against a tree. Ray’s vision blurred and his back was definitely bruised from where he was slammed against the wall. His breath was coming raggedly and he tried to breathe deeply to get his lungs to hold air again. Ray saw some colorful lights and heard an engine, before his vision went black.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to tell me what you guys think in the comments!! Guess who's gonna save Ray *Waggles eyebrows*


	4. Ray Has An Encounter With the Vagabond

Ray’s eyes opened, only for a moment, he caught sight of a face covered in red and black before his eyes rolled back again and his world was back to being blank.

The man carried Ray like a bride, he was lucky to have one of his safe houses nearby. If he hadn’t, it would have been a hell of a lot harder to get this kid to safety. Really the boy in his arms was the lucky one. He was lucky that he hadn’t been picked up by the police instead of a fellow criminal. He was lucky that Ryan had medical experience, and would be able to stitch up the nasty gash on his forehead. Ryan hoped his luck held out long enough to get them to his safe house.

It took longer to get safety because of the cursed rain. It was still falling heavily, and Ryan’s eyes were starting to burn from the face paint washing into his eyes. Eventually though, they came to the small wooden cabin, hidden behind numerous tree and covered in foliage so it was difficult to see at first glance. Ryan carried Ray into the house and set him on the bed.

“Okay, washcloth, hydrogen peroxide, needle, thread, and water.” Ryan mumbled under his breath, making a list of things he would have to track down in the underused safe house. It was a bit dusty, and definitely smelt old from lack of use. Regardless of that, it was big enough to house about three people for a short amount of time. There was a small kitchen tucked into a corner, a bed and a couch. It was set up more like a studio apartment than an actual house. But it’s not like it’s meant for extended use.

Ryan fumbled around for a moment, finding all the supplies he would need. He was kind of glad that the boy was still unconscious. It would suck a lot more to stitch up a person that could feel what was happening. Ryan brushed the hair off of Ray’s forehead and took his glasses off before cleaning his face, making sure to be extra careful around the gash. It wasn’t bleeding too much at the moment, most of the blood had already coagulated, but it was covered in mud and rain water.

The stitching and disinfecting process took a lot longer than the cleaning had. But when it was finally finished, Ryan was satisfied with the work he had done. He opened Ray’s eyelids for him to make sure that he didn’t have a concussion.

‘God this kid was lucky to get away with only a gash in his forehead.’ Ryan thought before leaving Ray to sleep, setting a glass of water and some painkillers on the side table. The man plopped down on the couch and got a book from the bookshelf near the couch and went about reading until the kid with a red hoodie woke.

~

Ray woke up a number of hours later with a headache the size of Texas, in a completely unfamiliar environment. Ray sat up quickly, electing to ignore the pounding in his head, to get out of here. A quick look around revealed that he was in a really small ass house, and that there was a man sitting on the couch, looking at him over a pair of reading glasses. His face was painted with a red and black skull design. He was a lot bigger than Ray was, so Ray would have to rely more on his speed than strength if this guy was opposed to Ray getting the fuck out of here.

 “Who the fuck are you?” Ray questioned bitterly, squinting. Both because of his lack of glasses and out of suspicion for the other. “What the fuck am I doing here?”

“My name’s Ryan. And you suffered a nasty crash into a tree without a helmet on. So I brought you here and patched you up. Does that suffice?” Ryan said with a lazy smirk on his face. He doesn’t mean to seem cocky, it just kind of happens. What can he say? He’s amused by the confusion of the boy.

“Um I guess? I’m just gonna go.” Ray said backing up and reaching for the door handle.

In an instant Ryan was pressed up against him and holding the door closed with his hand. “Sorry Bud. You’re not able to leave until that storm is over. We’re in the middle of nowhere and there is no way that you won’t get caught by the police or by the wolves before you even get to the street.” His voice was low and threatening, making Ray’s blood run cold.

“Are you gonna kill me?” Ray asked, trying to keep his face from revealing the fear that was coursing through his veins.

All Ryan did was let out a harsh chuckle.

“Haha, why didn’t you answer me?”

“I wouldn’t save someone’s life just to kill them for myself. I have that fate reserved for someone else.”

Ray scrunched up his eyebrows, wincing when he felt the skin pull on his forehead. “Names Ray if it interests you at all.”

“Not particularly.” Ryan said locking the door and turning around in one swift motion, going back to the couch to continue reading.

Ray let out a sigh of relief of Ryan not being pressed against him again.

“There’s painkillers on the table, and a glass of water. Try not to die before you get back to your crew.” Ryan said without looking back up from his book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AYYYY
> 
> I am so fucking sorry for not updating in literally forever. I'm going to try to have a more solid schedule with updating this one, cause I still am enjoying writing it. It's just hard to find time. Anyway! Since Jeremy is an official achievement hunter, I think I'm gonna add him into his as well. Ray will still be there, but Jeremy will be too. 
> 
> Don't be afraid to let me know what you think! I really enjoy getting feedback! Thank you so much to people have read this, even though it hasn't been updated. I'll try to update this again on Saturday. i am in a very writing mood right now. Well I hope you enjoyed reading, and I'll try my best to update this more!


	5. The Crew Is Seriously Worried About Ray

The crew had met up at the designated spot, just some old crummy bar that was completely inconspicuous. However, Ray still hadn’t shown up. They all decided to wait for an hour or two, since the rain probably slowed him down. Gavin was the first one to say what they were all thinking.

“Did he get got?” His voice was a mixture of amused and worried. He’d grown quite fond of Ray in the time he had spent with the Crew.

“We’ve been watching the news, and there hasn’t been any news of him getting caught by the police. At least not yet. We should try and think as positively as we can about all of this.” Jack suggested.

“Always the voice of reason.” Michael and Geoff scuffed at the same time. They shared a look before Michael spoke again.

“So what are we gonna do if he actually got caught? Should we go break him out? I have some explosives that will definitely do the job. And if he wasn’t caught, shouldn’t we like, I don’t know, go out there and look for him?” His voice was gradually getting more panicked, making it louder than he had intended it to be.

“We’ll wait for the night, he might have gone to a safe house to wait for the heat to die down before he finds us again. If he’s not back by tomorrow afternoon, we’ll search his route and see if we can find him.” Geoff said, trying to keep the crew in order. He was long suffering with keeping this ragtag group of assholes from falling apart.

Everybody nodded in agreement, looking down at their half-full glasses of alcohol.

~Ray~

The storm was still raging, full force when Ray checked again. Though to be fair he’d been checking every ten minutes. He knew that his crew was probably worried about him or fucking pissed that he didn’t meet up with them. Honestly it was really a hit or miss on them worrying.

“Jesus. Are you sure there’s not gonna be a fucking hurricane? That wind and rain out there is fucking crazy.” Ray said plopping back down onto the bed.

“If it gets too much worse, we’ll just go into the cellar.” Ryan said casually. His eyes had barely even left the book he was reading.

“There’s a fucking cellar? Please tell me it’s not covered in blood.”

“Wouldn’t want to lie to you, Little Red.”

Ray squinted, unable to tell if he was kidding or not. The nickname went right over his head. “Hey, let’s play a game.” He said, an amazing thought crossing his mind.

Ryan’s eyebrows raised and he peered over the book at Ray. “What do you have in mind?”

“We can just ask each other questions back and forth. Makes the time pass. Used to do it all the time with my old roommate.”

“Okay, I’ll bite.” Ryan said putting down his book and crossing his arms, waiting for Ray to ask a question.

“Okay, uh, how old are you?”

“28. How long have you been a criminal?”

“Since I was like five. Gotta love accidentally shoplifting, amirite? Have you ever smoked ‘dat herb’?”

“Once with an old boyfriend. Do you always play this game with people you’ve barely met?”

“Only the ones that have interesting answers. So, boyfriend?”

“Yup. Bi as fuck. How personal are the questions going to get?”

“Dunno man, just gotta roll with it. Do you always hold the door shut on people trying to leave, in the most suggestive way?” Ray asked, raising his eyebrows, a small smirk on his face.

“Only the interesting ones. How long do we have to play this game?” He wasn’t sure how far he wanted this game to go. It could reveal some things that he didn’t really want to reveal.

“Until one of us gets bored, or the storm stops. Have you ever killed someone?”

“I’m the Vagabond, what do you think?” He said, snarkily.

“Wait, what the fuck? You’re the Vagabond? But you look so, not Vagabond-ish.” Ray fumbled, standing up as quickly as he could. His eyebrows pulled together, making his stitches pull. “Holy shit, I’m locked in a cabin, hut-thing, with the Vagabond. And somehow I’m not dead yet. What the fuck? What the FUCK?”

“Hey, chill out. I’m not going to kill you. You’re a part of Ramsey’s crew, Red. He and I have an agreement. That’s why I picked you up from the side of the road. You’re just here until the storm passes and I’ll get you back to your crew, no problem.”

“Wait can you call my crew real quick? I don’t want them to think that I’m literally dead. That would suck.”

‘’Already tried while you were asleep. The storm is interfering with phone connections. I’ll try them again later, but I can’t promise anything.”

Ray sighed, putting his head in his hands. “I’m so fucking dead.”

“Geoff will understand, he’s pretty cool about that stuff. Just give yourself a break, you’re gonna be fine, dude.”

“No, not that. I think the stitched on my head just ripped.” He pulled his hands away from his head, blood was running down the side of his head again.

Ryan was up in an instant, catching Ray as he fell unconscious. “Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! Guess who actually updated when they said they would? THIS PERSON. Anyway, I think I'll be updating this again sometime next week. Let me know if you guys are enjoying this! I'm having a pretty good time writing it, and I hope everyone else is enjoying it too!
> 
> It's a pretty short chapter but I'm trying to end it where it makes sense, and I like ending it when something new happens, like Ray passing the fuck out because his stitches weren't as great as Ryan thought they were lmao

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment if you liked it or have any suggestions about anything! UPDATE: Someone told me about some of the errors and that it was a bit rushed, so I slowed it down a bit, if anyone has any suggestions I am definitely open to listening to them, it helps me get better at writing after all ^.^


End file.
